As the school year ends and planning begins for a new school year in the Philippines, there’s tryouts for Senior High Schools, Colleges, clubs, and even a new Center of Excellence apparently.
With that, it seems, every year brings a sleuth, a pack, a gaggle, whatever the collective noun is, of coaches sliding into the DMs of players across the area. If that sounds a bit creepy, well that’s kind of the point. Against child safeguarding advice, against school policies, and against governmental regulations, coaches continue to directly message children without the knowledge of their parents or guardians.
I used to get more frustrated by this in the past. Each year some coach would directly message our players trying to persuade them, typically one of our talented young girls, to go play for them. It took some time to calm down and recognise most of the time it probably was not coming from bad intentions, but rather a real neglect and ignorance of child safeguarding.
Now what gives me the right to lecture others on this? We started our own foundation, Fairplay, in 2011. We are registered with a variety of different institutions that each require child protection policies, safeguarding policies, media policies, and more. Applying for international grants, we need to have international standards of child protection and safeguarding, accounting procedures, and more. These child safeguarding policies are required by law for all schools and clubs and academies. It means for 13 years we are trying to do things the right way.
That does not mean we are perfect. It does not mean we make no mistakes. But it does mean we have experience in this. So hopefully to make it simple, here are some Dos and Don’ts during this tryout season for some advice for parents and coaches, as well as the clubs and schools.
Don’t Message Children Directly
The age of social media has brought with it greater possibilities of communication, but also greater risks. This should be obvious, but what prompted me writing this article now was another instance of a coach directly messaging one of our underage players at Payatas FC. This time, it’s a 13-year-old girl who they want to join their team. Never mind that it would mean a child commuting on a four hour round trip for a training session, never mind they were initially trying to charge her – a kid living in a family living well below the poverty line – thousands of pesos for this ‘privilege’, and never mind that they had not discussed any agreement of what happens in case of injury or any other aspect of safeguarding or child protection with the coaches or parents of the player. ‘Just go this week’ they told her personally, dangling the possibility of a place in the National Youth Team to try and get her to go.
In this case, I’m sure the coach was just thinking ‘Hey, this is a good opportunity for her, she’s a good player, come down’. But they did not think at all about the risks for the child. And I have to emphasise this, because we are dealing with children and vulnerable young adults.
Coaches who directly message children to recruit them do not understand the personal situation of the child. They do not understand the schooling situation, the social work situation, or anything beyond the talent. Anytime you invite a child or vulnerable young adult to a session, there are risks.
At this point, I won’t discuss further which coaches have done that this year, provided the lesson is learned. Kids just want to play, and that’s why child protection policies exist. So, as a parent, if a coach keeps messaging your child directly then be extremely careful. This is bad practice. Very bad practice. And in many cases, it clearly breaks school and club safeguarding policies. If a coach does not understand these basic child safeguarding policies, especially if they keep doing it, then that coach deserves no trust and support from you. Run.
Don’t Message Children Directly
It’s not deja-vu. It is just so important, it bears repeating. One time I got a message late at night from a worried parent. They were asking me where their 13-year-old daughter was. She had told her mother she had gone to play football. As her coach, I did not know about this. We didn’t have a tournament and of course training never goes that late. Eventually they and another young girl arrived back near midnight, her family worried sick the entire time. Not least after they found out they had commuted from the other side of Metro Manila all through Payatas late at night. Two young girls, at their own expense, commuting through some of the most dangerous areas of Manila late at night without their parents or coaches knowing about any of it.
It turned out they had played for a club’s academy. We had tried a partnership with their academy, but leading up to this we couldn’t continue training there as the travel was too expensive going from Payatas to McKinley Hill or BGC several times per week. The coach had kept messaging the kids directly to play for them, without any adult involved, and when the kids asked us we were clear they could not because they weren’t training there and the club was not supporting them.
The coach continued to message them, and the girls, being young and not knowing any better, went to the tournament without telling anyone else. While that was on them, the coach and the club broke every child protection policy out there. Fortunately, nothing serious happened to the girls, but it easily could have. What happens if they get injured in a situation like this? What happens if something happens while commuting back so late at night? What happens if they don’t return at all?
Always ensure the child is safe when going to and from your event. No result, no trophy, is worth that risk and the damage it can cause a young child for the rest of their life. And it is borderline illegal. If the parent does not consent, you have to understand you are legally liable for what happens to them. Without their permission, if you bring a child somewhere there is possibly a case of kidnapping here. It does not matter if the child wants to go. They are a minor. You NEED parental permission. You cannot expect a child to talk to their parents about things, you cannot expect a child understands the risks of commuting for hours through Metro Manila alone, the risk of injury, and the other risks of participating in sports. This is why child protection policies and these safeguarding rules exist. You go to the parents, the guardian, and their coach or you put everyone – including yourself – at risk.
Do Understand You Are Responsible
If you’re coaching a player, if you’re running a team, you are responsible for the players. You are responsible for their development. You are responsible for their well-being. And if they get hurt, you are responsible for that too.
Given our experiences, we are now very cautious about allowing our players to play for another club whenever there is an opportunity. In particular, we outright refuse to let any of our players play elsewhere without a written agreement that the team will pay for their treatment in case they’re injured at training or games. In the Philippines, that’s usually the most common risk (at least financially), but when you deal with hundreds of players there will be injuries. Injuries are part of any sport, and dealing with them must be part of any school or club policy. Most of those trying to poach players or recruit players in this fashion shy away from any written statement about injuries and responsibility. They may even tell you that they’ll help if there’s an injury, but they refuse to write that down. They refuse to be held accountable.
While some anxiety over lawsuits is understandable, if you aren’t willing to be responsible for a player, you are not worthy of being their coach. For parents, understand that a team who wins all the time is not necessarily the best team. And they certainly do not necessarily have the best coach. If they refuse to commit to being responsible for your child, then they will not commit to your child and their development either. They care about talent, not the child’s welfare, and they will drop your child when you stop paying or when a better player comes along.
Know exactly what your club and school will and will not cover, and make sure it’s in writing. Don’t be afraid to walk away if they say they will cover something but refuse to write it down.
Do Write Down Exactly What You Offer
What still shocks me each year with schools and clubs, is how few offers are made in writing. Not just for club academies but also for school scholarships. We all know of instances where coaches promised a certain amount for allowances, and the student athlete didn’t receive that – or worse, they got that from the admin and the coach demanded an amount was given to them to “redistribute” as they saw fit.
Promises get broken. Misunderstandings happen. Have proof of those promises so you can hold coaches and school or club administrations accountable. For players and parents, if you do not have a commitment in writing, then you do not have a commitment at all. It can be revoked at any moment. Even if it’s on social media, a screenshot of their message promising a dormitory or transport allowance, or whatever benefit it is, keeps you a little safer. It can be difficult to enforce a written agreement. It’s impossible to enforce a verbal agreement.
That DOES NOT mean you are guaranteed play time or guaranteed a varsity roster spot the following year. Players have to earn everything they get on the playing side of things. But if a coach wants commitment from their players, they must show commitment first. You are the adult, you are responsible, you lead the way. You do things the right way.
Writing these agreements is useful for the coaches too. When players write down their commitments as well, they stick to them more effectively. You can hold them accountable to that more effectively. And we all forget things. We’ve all been misunderstood. We’ve all come across entitled parents or players who demand things they’re not ready for, e.g. players who think they’re better than they are, and they may start spreading things. Having your agreements written down, about what is and is not guaranteed, gives a protection that you don’t have otherwise. It builds a level of trust and commitment that means everyone else knows the situation too and one bad apple doesn’t spoil the bunch.
Good Practice
Currently, we have a partnership with the Aspire Academy. Several of our younger players train at the academy and play for their team, and Aspire take care of them properly. Aspire had seen some of our talented young players during a friendly game and Aspire messaged our coaches to discuss a partnership. They were immediately upfront about what they can offer, what they want and need, and crucially, they asked us what we need too, and how to accomplish that.
Communication with our kids always goes through our senior Coach, who can check in with the families of the parents and ensure parents are aware, and agree, to each step of the partnership. Everyone knows when training is, how they get there, and who is responsible for their children at each point. Aspire have been very good at ensuring everyone knows what is and is not agreed with the team, we have a signed Memorandum of Agreement to express this, and both sides can be held accountable for our responsibilities to each other.
This should be the norm, but until you find a good partner, it’s better to have no partner at all. Parents, understand that if any coach, if any team, makes an offer to your child and they are not willing to put that in writing, that is a massive red flag. I advise you to walk away, because when it’s convenient they will walk away from any responsibility to your child.
Summary
There is a Senior High School scholarship program interested in our players also, and they keep messaging our players directly. With information, with lots of requirements, with questions, and more. We keep telling them to include us in ALL communication, but they don’t seem to understand why it’s so important.
Again, I’m trying not to assume bad intentions, but it is frustrating. The kids keep freaking out about a new requirement, a change of deadlines, or other information that comes out. These are children or vulnerable young adults. They do not fully understand all of this. They come to us flustered about how to do it, because they literally cannot afford to get a medical clearance from a doctor, they need help and assistance getting clearances from schools, or they cannot afford to go to government offices for an original birth certificate or other documentation.
We have to arrange everything for them. Where to go, when to go, the financials of it. We’re talking about children and vulnerable young adults from either broken or non-existent families, who through their effort have developed some talent in the sport, but they have no clue how to do the most basic of paperwork like this. Parents are exhausted and overwhelmed from scavenging all day, or taking care of a group of children. They have no education of their own, and do not understand any of the requirements involved.
The SHS doesn’t understand fully the kids’ backgrounds and the risks involved here. They’re sending what they need, not what the kids need. Some people get frustrated and think I’m difficult to work with, to be included in all communication with our kids. Maybe they think it’s an ego thing, and I just want to be involved in everything. But it’s not. It’s proper procedure.
Because if we’re not, if we do not follow child protection policies and safeguarding rules, something goes very, very wrong. A child with no family support gets stranded somewhere in Manila. They get injured playing for another team without their families knowing where they are, and now an impoverished family is stuck with medical bills. They freak out and hide from requirements because they don’t understand what they are and deadlines and opportunities get passed by. Following proper child protection policies – a legal requirement for any club or school or scholarship program – doesn’t solve everything. But it solves most of this and, most importantly, it keeps the kids safer.
Neglect or ignorance of child protection policies does not exempt you from the consequences. Or the children from those consequences either. So I will continue to get angry about this. I will continue to demand others follow proper procedure. Because if they don’t, kids get hurt. Maybe not mine, because we will refuse to be involved with them if we see such behaviour, but someone else will. Statistically, it’s inevitable over time.
There is so much more that can be said and so much more that goes into a proper child protection policy or a child safeguarding policy. But this is a start. Philippine football will be so much better if we at least enforce basic safeguarding.
If you are a coach, speak directly to the parents and the child’s coach. If you do not, you put the child at risk. If it takes some time, wait. Or you put the child at risk. Your rushed schedule is not worth the risk to the child.
Parents, demand accountability from your child’s coach and team. Demand your child’s club has a child protection or child safeguarding policy in the first place. That is law. Demand that team puts their commitments in writing. And ensure parents and trusted adults are aware of the schedules and where the child is at all times.
This article is FAR from complete but in the Philippines if we can make it the norm that when dealing with minors and vulnerable young adults we do these few things as a minimum, then things will have improved. And if you think that coaches being licensed or connected to the PFF changes that, it doesn’t. Most of the examples I’ve discussed are coaches who have coaching licenses, and some have worked in the PFF at the time. EVERYONE needs to do better.
This is something that the PFF could do a good job in setting expectations and boundaries too, and of course holding their own coaches to account for. In promoting safeguarding and establishing these basic rules. These basic dos and don’ts. Because if we don’t, someone gets hurt.
Get moore. do moore. be moore. 
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